The following is not a novelization or an actual script but a dry transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, settings descriptions, action scenes and/or camera movements where the transcriber felt they were necessary. This transcript is provided by "TWIZ TV.COM - FREE TV SCRIPTS DATABASE" courtesy of CDREAMERS. "CALIFORNIA DREAMS" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by PETER ENGEL PRODUCTIONS in association with NBC PRODUCTIONS. All Rights Reserved. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.
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TRANSCRIPT:
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Scene 1: Sharkeys

Setting: Tiff and Lorena are sitting at the table and Tony and Sam are at the counter.

Lorena: "Well, tomorrow's the big day! If you and Jake get through it you'll break your old dating record.

Tiff: "Lorena don't talk about it! Oh, knock on wood (knocks on table, knocks on Lorena's head) I don't want anything to jinx it. Where's salt. Ahh..(throws salt behind her)

Lorena: "Right. But you got to admit it's pretty cool. 3 months and 2 days without breaking up even once."

Tiff: "Well I love Jake a whole lot."

Jake walks in Sharkeys

Jake: "Hey!"

Tiff: "Get away from me!"

Jake: "I love you too. Hey it's not like we're going to break up if we spend some time together but why take a chance?"

Tony: "I can't believe you. You're being superstitious, no no you're being stupidsticious."

Mark and Sly walk in

Sly: "Baboom. Tonight's the night."

Tiff: "No, Sly it's tomorrow night.Jake and I are going to a romantic dinner at the Paradise Inn----"

Gang: "Don't talk about it!

Sly: "Forget that. Im talking about the St. Margarets School for the "chase me and hold me."

Mark: "Sly, it's St. Margarets School for the Chaste and Holy."

Sly: "I like mine better."

Mark: "We're contestants in a charity version of the dating game."

Sly: "And I'm definitely going to win cause Mark's my main competition."

Mark: "You dont know that, the girl wont even see us. She'll be picking us just by personality."

Sly: "Like I said."

Mark: "We just stopped in to see if you guys want to come check it out with us."

Sam: "Not me. I dont have to go across town to see you guys get rejected like a couple idiots."

Jake & Tony: "We do."

SCENE 2: Studio of the dating game.

Setting- Jake, Mark, Sly and Tony are in the studio and there are girls walking past them.

Sly: "Oh man. An all girls school. I feel like a cat in a canary cage. Meeoow!!

Jake: "Sly, chill out. Look at Mark, he's not going ape."

Mark: "Oooohh, oohh, oohh"

Jake:" Well at least you're not embarrsing me Tony."

Tony: "Oh man, oh man! That's Milt Bradley he's my idol. Hes the best game show host since Guy Smiley."

Milt: "Hi there. Are any of you groovey guys Sly and Mark Winkle?"

Mark: "Oh Oh I am Iam."

Sly:"Yeah that's us."

Tony: "And I'm their bosom compradre Tony Winks!" (winks his eyes)

Milt: "Is there something wrong with your eye? Listen tonight's third guy cancelled out so that means there's no dating game."

Sly:"Wait, wait, if we can find another guy can we still play?"

Milt: "Let's see what our judges think. (Ding, ding, ding) You have 30 seconds."

Sly: "Tony you gotta do it."

Tony: "He hated my wink."

Sly: "Forget it he's gone. I'd ask you Jake but I know you're afraid of Tiffani."

Jake: "Hey Jake Sommers doesnt do afraid. I'll play. (whispers) I'll just lose on purpose so Tiff doesnt get upset."

SCENE 3: Stage of dating game

Milt walks on stage

Milt: "Hi there! Welcome to St. Margarets charity dating game."

Tony: "Yes, go Milt! You the man!"

Milt: "Ok, now tonight we have 3 eager guys who'll answer a girls question in the hopes of winning a fabulous dream date. And here they are. Ok guys tell us a little about yourselves."

Sly: "I'm Sly Winke. My interests are chicks, kissing and kissing chicks."

Mark: "I'm Mark Winkle. I'm more interested in helping the charity than getting a date."

Jake: "Hey, Im the one trying to sound like a loser here. Hi, like my friends call me Seashell cause if you listen in my ear you can totally hear the ocean man."

Milt: "Ok!! Now let's meet our gal. Her interests are calculus, computers, and finding edible plants in the wilderness. Hmm.. Here she is Ms. Terry Webber!"

Mark: "Sounds like she's smart."

Sly: "Yah well I can overlook that as long as she's hot."

Milt: "Let's start by having our 3 eager guys say a big dating game hello to Terry. Eager guy #1."

Sly: "I'll show her smart. Bonjourney Baby."

Mark: "Hi diddly doo Ter."

Jake: "Uh, like what was the question?"

Milt: "Terry if you have your questions ready let's begin."

Terry: "Eager guy #1. If you were marooned on a desert island what 3 things would you want to have?"

Sly: "Oh that's easy. A campfire, a full moon and you." (howls)

Mark: :Just 3 things? I don't know if I can just pick 3 things."

Terry:"Ok.. #3"

Jake: "uh uh Hiya Milt."

Terry: "Eager guy #1 do you believe in love at first sight?"

Sly: "I don't know. Step around the partition and I'll tell you."

Terry: "Ohh. Eager guy #3?"

Mark: "Well how are you defining love?"

Terry: "Number 3."

Jake: "Oh I get it. uh Hiya uh Terry."

Milt: "Terry it's time. Time to pick which one of our eager guys is your dream man."

Terry: "Ok. My dream man is eager guy #3."

Milt: "Number 3??"

Sly: "3??"

Jake: "Number 3?"

Milt: "So Terry why'd you pick #3 and I really want to know."

Terry: "Well that smart routine was just an act. Actually I'm a surfer but I didn't wnt them to pick me cause they thought I was a bimbo."

Milt: "But you were picking them."

Terry: "So it worked!"

Milt: "Ok Eager guy #3 come out and meet Terry. It's for sure you're a match made in heaven. And it's for sure Tiffani's going to kill me.

SCENE 4: Studio

Sly: "You weren't supposed to win the game, take the fall, hit the mat and in short that means not win!"

Jake: "Sly I'm sorry I tried. And if you yell at me again youre going to take the fall, hit the mat and in short not live!"

Sly: "You know what gets me the most? I lost even though I was honest."

Tony: "What are you talking about. You were a complete sleaze out there."

Sly: "Hey! I gotta be me."

Mark: "Well lets look at the bright side. We did help raise money for charity."

Tony: "Yah i know another charity that needs help. Save Jake's butt fund."

Jake: "Hey I admit Tiffani's not going to be thrilled but we have a trusting relationshop. I'll just be honest."

Sly: "Ha!"

Tony: "You can be honest all you want but if you go out with that other girl you're going to be on a new game show "Dump the Chump." (In game show host voice) So Tiffani Jake's dating another girl what do u say? I say "dump the chump."

Jake: "But Tiff I can explain---"

Tony: "Sorry Jake you lose! But we do have some nice parting gifts."

Milt:"Hey! You! Winks! That was pretty darn good. You've got potential. Now work on that wink and you can go places."

Tony and Milt wink at each other

Tony: "Did you guys hear that? I got potential. Oh man I got to study. I got to practice. I gotta get some Lee Press on eyelashes."

Jake: "I can't believe I gave my word to go on this stupid date. I gues I'll just have to do it and not let Tiff find out. Shouldn't be too hard actually."

Terry: "Hey Seashell. I can't wait until our date. We won dinner for 2 at Sharkeys tomorrow night."

Jake: "Uh Sharkeys? Tomorrow night??"

Tony: (whispers) "Dump the chump, dump the chump."

SECENE 5: Loft

Sam: "Hey guys, check out what Tiff's going to wear on tonight's date with Jake."

Gang: "Woohoo!" (whistles)

Lorena: "Boy Tiff when Jake sees you in that he'll try to break more than your dating record, he'll be going for the world's longest kiss!"

Tiff: "That'd be cool. Now I can't wait for him to see this dres."

Jake walks in

Jake: "Hey!"

Tiff: "Dont look at me! Don't you dare look at me!!"

Jake: "Enough of this jinx stuff. Tiff I need to talk to you."

Sam: "Come on Jake. You waited this long, what's a few more hours?"

Lorena: "Yah tonight's very important to Tiff. SHe wants it to be just perfect."

Jake: "So I guess cancelling it would be a bad thing huh?"

Sam: "Well that depends. Would you consider removing your motorcycle from your nose a bad thing?"

Jake: " TEll her I'll see her tonight."

Sly: "Youre in trouble now. And you thought you were so cool for having two chicks."

Tony: "He never thought it was cool."

Sly:"Oh right that was me."

Jake: "Well that's it. I got to go on both dates without either of them knowing."

SCENE 6: Sharkeys

Tiff and Jake walk in

Tiff: "Why are we here? I wanted a nice romantic dinner at the Paradise Inn?"

Jake: "What's more romantic than a special night at the first place we met?"

(They are about to kiss)

Tiff: "No Jake! We met at school!"

Jake: "Oh yah yah but our lips first met at Sharkeys."

(About to kiss again)

Tiff: "No our first kiss was in Matt's garage. Whats going on Jake?"

Jake: "Ok, ok I'll tell you the truth. The Paradise Inn serves illegally netted tuna."

Tiff: "No!!"

Jake: "Im afraid so."

Tiff: "THis is so fantastic. We actually broke our dating record."

Jake: "And we're going to keep on breaking it over and over until the end of time."

(they are about to kiss, and Terry walks in Sharkeys)

Jake: "Here we go. Oh my gosh. I left the lights on my bike. I'll be right back."

(Jake changes over to surfer clothes and meets Terry)

Terry: "Hey Seashell. Groovy place."

Jake: "Yah for sure you know. Well let's sit down k?"

Terry: "Ok how about over there?"

Jake: "Not k! Lets sit here by the window cause the seafood will smell more seafoodier."

(They sit at a table)

Sly:"Hey Seashell. You left your light on on on your surfboard."

Terry: "You have a light on your board?"

Jake: "Well yah for night surfing."

Terry: "Wow, where do you plug it in?"

Jake: "I'll be right back."

(He walks out and changes back to his suit and over to Tiffani)

Tiff: "Is everything alright?"

Jake: "Oh yah"

Tiff: "Good, come on lets dance."

(They get up to dance)

Sly: "Hey Jake you a phone call. Its your mom!"

Jake: "Im sorry this will only take a second." (kisses her hand)

(walks over to Sly)

Jake: "A headlight on my board?"

Sly: "Hey its not like I have a script."

Jake: "Oh hi mom."

(Mark replaces Jake at the phone and Jake changes back to his surfer clothes and over to Terry)

Jake: "Sorry it took so long you know. I got lost in the parking lot."

Terry: "Oh I hate when that happens! Wow knarly toon lets lancer."

(Jake falls over the step)

Terry: "Wipe out! Are you ok?"

Jake: "Yah you know I think I twisted my ankle. I better go and get the ace bandage from my board."

(Walks out and changes back to the suit and over to the phone)

Jake: "Well Mom I gotta go. Youre keeping the most beautiful woman in the world waiting. Good night!"

Tiff: "Jake why are you wearing that necklace?"

Jake: "Well it's a gift for you! I had it in my pocket."

Tiff: "Oh youre so thoughtful."

Jake: "But you know this isnt good enough for you."

Tiff: "No Jake, I love it."

(They fight over necklace and it breaks)

Jake: "See it was cheap merchandise. I'll clean it up." (goes under the table)

(Terry walks by and trips over the shells of the necklace and sees Jake)

Terry: "Hey Seashell. What are you doing here? Did you get lost again?"

Tiff: (kneels down) "Whats going on?"

Jake: "Uhh..."

Terry: "Its ok. My date's a bit of a burnout."

Tiff: "Your date?"

Jake: "Tiff I can explain."

Tiff: "Great! I'm sure your date would love to hear about it.THAT date not this date. I never want to see you again!"

Jake: "Tiff wait!!" (bangs head on table)

Terry: "Oh puka shells. I had no idea pukas traveled this far on land."

SCENE 7: Loft

(Tiff runs inside slamming the door on Jake's face)

Jake coming in panting, "Tiff. Wait. Listen. Water, water..."

(Sly hands Jake an empty water bottle)

Sly: "Hey Jake I didn't know you jogged."

Jake: " I dont, but I should. I've been following Tiffani trying to get her to listen to me."

Tiff: "I did an extra 6 miles on purpose."

Sam: "Tiffani, I know you're upset but look at him."

(Jake kneeling down on the chair, out of breath)

Tiff: "Fine, I'm listening."

Jake: "Thanks. Look I had to go on that date Tiff. It was for charity. Im sorry I nade you so mad honey."

Tiff: "You think I'm mad!!!"

Jake: "Well maybe just a little."

Tiff: "Ugh. When we first got back together you asked me not to hurt you. But what about me? Loves a two way street you know."

Jake: "Yah I know. We just jogged down it. Look Tiff I'm sorry. I should have blown off that other date."

Tiff: "Oh you are so clueless. I'm not hurt because you two timed me!"

Sly: "Why can't I get girls like that?"

(Lorens punches him in the stomach)

Tiff:"I'm hurt becaue you didn't think I'd understand your commitment. And if you think you can't tell me the truth than that means you don't know me."

Jake: "That's not true. I just didn't know that part of you but I do now so I'll never do it again."

Tiff: "You got that right bucko." (shes about to walk about and Tony stops her)

Jake: "Tiff!!"

Tony: "Hey, hey. You know what you two are going through is something all couples go through but don't worry there's a simple solution."

Jake: "What like a relationship counselor? "

Tony: "No, we'll play a dating game!!"

SCENE 8: Sharkeys set up to be a game show

Sly: "Hello Pacific Coast!! Get set for the latest, greatest game show around its-"

Audience: "THe dateless game!"

Sly: "And here's our host Tony Winks!!"

(Tony runs in and on the stage)

Tony: "Hey there. Hi there. Hello there. Let's get right to it. Here he isall the way from outside, Jake Sommers!!"

(Jake walks in)

Tony: "Hey Jake. In a second I'm going to bring out the girls. So what do you say wil you be able to choose your girlfriend or will you end up---"

Audience: "Dateless!"

Tony: "That's right!"

Jake: "Yah picking out Tiff will be a piece of cake. Theres no one in the world like her."

Tony: "Great! Well here comes girl #1. She's a blonde who loves surfing.

(Sam escorts out Tiffani onto the stage)

Jake: "Thats gotta be Tiffani."

Tony:"Girl #2 a blonde who loves surfing."

Jake: "Ok so it's either one or two."

Tony: "Girl #3, oh what a surprise a blonde who loves surfing."

Jake: "Oh boy. Ok girl #1if you found a wallet full of money would you take it?"

Tiffany in an accent, "Absolutely not, it doesnt belong to me."

Jake: "Thats Tiff. Nobody's that honest. Girl #2."

Girl #2: "I'd take the wallet and then I'd give it to the police."

Girl #3: "I would do whatever it took to track down the owner and than I'd give the reward money to homeless orphans."

Tony: "Ok Jake last question. Make it a good one."

Jake: "Alright. If your boyfriend was out of town and Brad Pitt asked you out on a date would you say yes?"

All 3 girls: "Oh no!"

Tony: "Well that's all the time we have here Jake. So what's going to be your decision? Girl #, girl #2, or girl #3?"

Jake: "That's easy its girl #1, no 3 no 2!."

Tony: "Come on Jake,having more than one is how you got here in the first place. Just pick one."

Jake: " This is dumb man. You can't know a person just by askin them a few stupid questions. You know them through experience. I know you Tiffani. I know your stomach is tied in knots right now cause you hate playing games. I know you're hurt because of what I did. ANd if you know me you'd know how bad I feel about it and I'd rather die than hurt you again. I guess I lost." (He's about to walk out of Sharkeys)

Tiff: "Where you going?"

Jake: "I don't know but whereever it is I'm not jogging there."

(They walk to each other and hug)

Jake:"I'm sorry Tiff. I'm sorry for not giving you credit for being able to accept the truth."

Tiff: "I know so we got some work to do."

Jake: "What like getting to know each other better?"

Tiff: "No, like breaking our new record."

(They kiss and Tony pulls them apart.)

Tony: "Well looks like we have a winner!!)

THE END

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