The following is not a novelization or an actual script but a dry transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, settings descriptions, action scenes and/or camera movements where the transcriber felt they were necessary. This transcript is provided by "TWIZ TV.COM - FREE TV SCRIPTS DATABASE" IN WORLD WIDE WEB EXCLUSIVITY (Source: Sincere Amore). "CAROLINE IN THE CITY" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by BARRON/PENNETTE PRODUCTIONS and THREE SISTERS ENTERTAINMENT in association with NBC. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain. For entertainment and educational purposes only. No infringement intended.
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TRANSCRIPT:
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[Scene 1: Caroline's Apartment. Caroline is talking on the phone.]

CAROLINE: [on the phone] The ad should read 'Colorist wanted to assist nationally syndicated cartoonist.' No, it's not Beetle Bailey. Mine's about a woman. No, that's Cathy. Mine's Caroline in the City. It's a witty, kind of carefree...Oh yeah? Well then we're even. I think your ads are stupid.

[Scene 2: Caroline's Apartment. Later. Caroline is interviewing Monroe.]

CAROLINE: Thanks for answering my ad, Mr. Monroe.

MONROE: It's just 'Monroe.' One word, like 'Picasso.' Or 'Cher.' Or 'Satan!'

[Scene 3: The Hallway of Caroline's Building. Caroline is escorting Ultimate Fan to the elevator.]

ULTIMATE FAN: And I could start immediately. I've read every Caroline strip, I have every Caroline book, every Caroline calendar, every Caroline greeting card, especially get well ones.

CAROLINE: I do have a few more people to interview.

ULTIMATE FAN: Oh, you don't understand, Caroline. I don't just want to work for you, I want to be you.

CAROLINE: No you don't. Go home. [Caroline tries to push her into the elevator]

ULTIMATE FAN: People even tell me I look like you.

CAROLINE: Bye. [the elevator door closes]

ANNIE: [entering] Hey you.

CAROLINE: Annie I thought you were in Atlantic City. When did you get back?

ANNIE: Last night.

CAROLINE: Well, how'd you do?

ANNIE: I got Lucky. [Enter Lucky][Kiss][Exit Lucky] Mmm. See you, Lucky. So what's going on with you, huh?

CAROLINE: Del and I had a big fight and broke up.

ANNIE: Get out of here. How could you break up with Del, he has such great hair. [Entering Caroline's apartment.]

CAROLINE: I know Annie, but I wanted a little more.

ANNIE: He could grow it.

CAROLINE: I'm tired of ending up like this. I'm gonna take a break from guys. You know I'm gonna hang out with my friends, go to museums. [buzzer rings]

ANNIE: Oh, God. Why is it that every time you break up with a guy I end up at a museum?

CAROLINE: [to intercom] Who is it?

RICHARD: [Over intercom] Richard Karinsky. I'm here about the...job.

CAROLINE: Come on up. Second floor.

ANNIE: Hey, listen. I got to get ready for work, but I'll come over when I get home. You keep busy.

CAROLINE: Don't remind me. I have a one o'clock meeting with Del at the card company.

ANNIE: You know, I hate to say I told you so. Well, actually, I like saying that. But I warned you not to get involved with guys you work with. I never do.

CAROLINE: Yeah, you never get involved with guys who have jobs.

ANNIE: I love being your friend.

CAROLINE: Whatever happened to the good old days when you'd break up with a guy and he'd just disappear?

ANNIE: You never had any 'good old days.' All your relationships end badly.

CAROLINE: You say that like it's my fault.

ANNIE: Well, the old lady on Murder, She Wrote never thinks it's her fault, but every time she shows up at a dinner party, someone dies. You know, after a while she's got to start thinking 'Hey!'

[Scene 4: Caroline's Apartment. Later on. Caroline is interviewing Richard.]

CAROLINE: So, you're familiar with Caroline?

RICHARD: I think my dentist has one of your calendars. She's that stringy-haired girl who's always trying on bathing suits with her mom, right?

CAROLINE: No, that's 'Cathy.'

RICHARD: Boy is my face red.

CAROLINE: You know, you seem more than qualified for this job.

RICHARD: I am.

CAROLINE: Well, why do you want it?

RICHARD: Money. Seems I won't be able to make a living as a real artist until after I'm dead. Bummer, huh?

CAROLINE: Totally.

RICHARD: [Cats jumps on his lap] Oh, great, you have a cat.

CAROLINE: Oh, this is Salty. Actually, her real name is Salt. See, I had a Pepper, too. But Pepper ran away a year ago. He was a male, so, typical. And since Salt is a weird name by itself.....

RICHARD: How anecdotal. Look, can you please just make it disappear?

CAROLINE: I'm sorry. Are you allergic?

RICHARD: No, I just don't like cats or dogs or anything that runs up to you and pees on your feet when you come home.

CAROLINE: Well then we may have a problem, because I tend to get fairly excited when people come over. Not even a smile. Well, I have quite a few more people to interview, but I'll be in touch.

RICHARD: No you won't.

CAROLINE: Excuse me?

RICHARD: I've had enough of these interviews to know the signs. Look, I'd just really appreciate it if you'd tell me now that I didn't get the job so I won't have to waste me time sitting by the phone, which they're about to turn off anyway.

CAROLINE: No, Mr. Karinsky, I will call really.

RICHARD: Okay, okay. Fine, you can reach me at my apartment for the next twenty-four hours and after that, here's the number of the shelter, but no pressure.

CAROLINE: Okay, Mr. Karinsky, maybe we can try this out.

RICHARD: Okay, I don't come in before ten, I don't work weekends, and I get about an hour and a half for lunch--it's about that time now, see you at two. [Exit Richard]

CAROLINE: It's nice working for you.

[Scene 5: The card company. Caroline is standing outside Del's office.]

CAROLINE: Hi Del. Hello Mr. Cassidy. Hi Del. [knocks on the door][enters]

DEL: Hi.

CAROLINE: [in a high pitched voice] Hi Del. So.

DEL: So.

CAROLINE: Could this be any more awkward?

DEL: Well if we were both naked and my mom was here.

CAROLINE: Look, we both knew this was gonna be a little weird, but, we have work to do. [unzipping her bag]

DEL: Absolutely. We are professionals. Although I still love the sound of you unzipping.

CAROLINE: Del, come on, the cards.

DEL: Yeah, right. [looks at the cards] Wow. These are so, so, so why did we break up?

CAROLINE: Because in the wake of your two failed marriages you were unable to commit to anything larger than a goldfish.

DEL: That's because things that live on land usually divorce me.

CAROLINE: Come on, Del, the cards.

DEL: You know, I just want to let you know that I really miss you, Duff.

CAROLINE: I miss you too.

DEL: I miss lying in bed, eating Captain Crunch, watching Garfield with you on Saturday mornings....

CAROLINE: Del, we said we'd never talk about that outside my apartment.

DEL: I know. [tries to kiss][Enter Charlie]

CHARLIE: Okay, okay: Del, I have this great idea. There's this whole untapped market out there just waiting for its own..greeting card...hi, Caroline, I thought you two broke up. [to Caroline] I'm not even here. Del, you're a woman, go with this. You're a woman, you're fifty and you just got divorced. 'Congratulations. You just took the men' open it 'Outta menopause!' Okay, you hate it. Charlie, he hates it. Okay, another untapped market, whole new idea. Okay, 'I just wanna stand up and shout!' Open it 'Hey world, I coming out!' Good for gays, good for debutantes....Okay, he hates that too. Alright, get a grip! [Exit Charlie]

DEL: It's hard to believe he's not family.

CAROLINE: Look, you're busy. Tell me what you think of these cards, I'm gonna go out and grab some sex--lunch. [drops her bag] Oh, hot!

DEL: You know, Caroline, just because we're not seeing each other any more doesn't mean we can't see each other any more.

CAROLINE: Well, yeah, maybe we could catch a movie sometime.

DEL: Yeah, when?

CAROLINE: How about tonight?

DEL: Ohhh, tonight's bad. I've got a thing.

CAROLINE: A thing...like elective surgery?

DEL: No. I've got an, am, a, a....

CAROLINE: Oh, Del, I'm an adult. If you have a date, just come right out and tell me.

DEL: Okay, I've got a date.

CAROLINE: A date? A date?

DEL: Hey, you're the one who said we should, you know, get one with our lives.

CAROLINE: As we should. As a matter of fact, talk about coincidences, I just remembered, I have a date tonight too.

DEL: Really?

CAROLINE: That would have been embarrassing, huh? Me making a date with you and then having this other big, hot date.

DEL: So, where ya going?

CAROLINE: Home.

DEL: No, on your big hot date.

CAROLINE: Remo's....

DEL: Oh, boy.

CAROLINE: What?

DEL: Well that's where Debbie and I are going.

CAROLINE: Del, that's our place.

DEL: Well it's okay for you to go there?

CAROLINE: Yeah, well, I discovered it.

DEL: What is it, a continent?

CAROLINE: Fine. My date and I will just order in.

DEL: No. No, don't change your plans on my account.

CAROLINE: Look Del, I'm not gonna bring my date to the same restaurant you bringing your date to. That's just a little too Noel Coward for me.

[Scene 6: Caroline's Apartment. Later on. Caroline's on the phone. Richard is painting.]

CAROLINE: Dr. Davenport, it's Caroline Duffy. You know, I think my cat might be sick. Nahh, she doesn't have to come in, but maybe you and I could get together for dinner tonight to discuss it at Remo's at eight o'clock? You got plans? It's okay. Nahh, she's a cat. They bounce back. [sighs] Oh, gee, Caroline, is something wrong? No, no, but it's so nice of you to ask.

RICHARD: Should I stay? Or do you two want to be alone?

CAROLINE: Richard don't you like to chat? My old colorist Jeanie and I used to talk for hours. Some days we wouldn't get any work done at all. But then she moved to Chicago to marry Bill.

RICHARD: Excuse me, excuse me, was listening to your personal problems part of the job description, because I don't do well with personal problems.

CAROLINE: I'll pay you an extra two bucks an hour.

RICHARD: You were saying.....

CAROLINE: This is what happened: for eight months I tell a guy to put the toilet seat down, he ignores me, then I say it's time to move on and bang! eighty-six hours he has a date, a date! So I, of course, tell him I have a date too, lie, lie, lie. So, in four hours I have to show up at the same restaurant to prove that he's real, which he isn't.

RICHARD: And you really think your colorist moved away because she got married?

CAROLINE: Wow. Conversation and a joke. You are full of suprises.

RICHARD: Ooops. Quitting time.

CAROLINE: Wait a second, you're not done.

RICHARD: Well, I can finish these tomorrow.

CAROLINE: No you can't. This is a business. We have a deadline. Here, I'll give you my key. Take them with you and when you're finished tonight, bring them back.

RICHARD: I was planning to go to that festival of failed Swiss documentaries. [Caroline gives him the evil eye] Okay, okay, so much for my night of fun. [Enter Annie]

ANNIE: Bad news, Caroline.

CAROLINE: What?

ANNIE: I called that Peter guy we met at the party last month. No go.

CAROLINE: He didn't remember me?

ANNIE: No, he remembered you. He just didn't like you. [to Richard] Who are you?

CAROLINE: Annie, this is Richard. Richard, Annie.

ANNIE: Oh, you must be the uptight cat hater.

RICHARD: And you must be the slutty next-door neighbor from the comic strip.

ANNIE: Yeah, but my breasts are bigger.

RICHARD: If you say so.

ANNIE: Feisty. I like him. [Richard begins to exit][Caroline runs after him]

CAROLINE: Richard, you and I don't know each other that well. Is there any way you might...

RICHARD: No. [Exit Richard]

ANNIE: Caroline, don't give up. This is New York City. You could toss one of these pears out the window and hit a terrific guy.

CAROLINE: Yeah, right. [Annie tosses a pear out the window]

PRIEST: Hey!

ANNIE: Let's see what we got! Sorry, Father.

CAROLINE: This is nuts. I'm just gonna call Del and tell him it was all a big game and I am through playing games.

ANNIE: Why call him? Why not just tell him at the office tomorrow?

CAROLINE: True, I could do that, and then see that self-satisfied smirk that says 'I've moved on and you haven't.' [Annie pushes the fruit bowl over to Caroline]

[Scene 7: Caroline's Apartment. Later. Caroline and Annie are throwing fruit out the window.]

CAROLINE: Go for the guy in the blue suit.

ANNIE: Ah, he's a little thin.

CAROLINE: Annie, it's six forty-five, hit him. [She throws the fruit] Yes!

ANNIE: Okay, when he gets up, ask him to go out with you tonight.

CAROLINE: [to Jeff] Hey, up here.

JEFF: What are you doing?

CAROLINE: I'm sorry, my friend and I are throwing fruit out the window in a some what misguided attempt to meet men.

JEFF: Well that explains the ambrosia on the sidewalk.

ANNIE: A little corny, but he's cute.

JEFF: So, what's your name?

CAROLINE: Juliet.

JEFF: Hi, Juliet, I'm Jeff.

CAROLINE: No, my name's not really Juliet, it's Caroline. Juliet's from Romeo and Juliet , there's the whole balcony scene.

ANNIE: No wonder you can't find a date.

CAROLINE: Listen Jeff, you probably think I'm totally crazy, but can I buy you dinner tonight?

JEFF: Well, I don't know. There's a woman on Seventh Avenue who just threw a pork chop at me.

CAROLINE: Hey, I got a melon up here, don't make me use it. [Thumbs up]

[Scene 8: Remo's. Caroline is there.]

CAROLINE: [to Johnny] Reservations for two--Duffy.

JOHNNY: Duffy. Duffy. Duffy. Duffy. I don't seem to have you down.

CAROLINE: I called two hours ago. [Enter Remo]

REMO: Caroline. A falicima.

CAROLINE: Remo! [They embrace]

REMO: Now, Carolina. Requesto cerombiano. [Remo and Johnny fight in Italian] Carolina and Senor Del are my favorita customers.

JOHNNY: Scusi.

REMO: So, when I hear you make a reservation after Senor Del make reservation I know there must be some kind of mix up. So, I erased your name. But, don't worry, I gave you and Senior Del the best table in the house, the best.

CAROLINE: Well, I hope you have two best tables, because Senor Del and I aren't here together. We broke up.

REMO: Ah!

CAROLINE: But it's okay. Really.

REMO: I never liked Senor Del. He's a big, phony bastard. Come over here, I've got for you a nice quiet table out of the way. Come on.

CAROLINE: I didn't throw fifteen pounds of fruit out the window for a quiet table. I want that one. I got a big, hot date. [Remo seats her][Enter Del and Debbie]

REMO: Uh oh. They're here.

CAROLINE: How bad is it?

REMO: Blonde, twenty-two and her dress fits like a sausage casing.

CAROLINE: Wine list.

REMO: Carolina, this is too painful. I must tell him to go.

CAROLINE: No, no, no, Remo. Remo, no! No.

REMO: Senor Del.

DEL: [hands Remo $$] Hey, Remo!

REMO: So good to see you again! I have reserved for you the best table, the best.

JOHNNY: Hey, big shot.

DEL: [to Caroline] Hey, Duff.

CAROLINE: Oh, Del, is that you?

DEL: Debbie, this is my friend, Caroline Duffy and her date. Not much of a talker.

CAROLINE: Hey, he'll be here. He's just a little late.

DEBBIE: So, Del tells me you draw that little Caroline cartoon?

CAROLINE: Yeah, you read my comic strip?

DEBBIE: No, I stopped reading the funnies when I was a child.

CAROLINE: Oh, so you must be a week behind.

REMO: Oh dear! These knives, they're dirty. Just let me get a look.

[Scene 9: Caroline's Apartment. Later that evening.]

RICHARD: [entering] Beast? Hello, beast. [Salty meows] Oh, right, that'll scare the burglars. [Leaves sketches] Alright, don't touch these. Back! [Phone rings]

ANSWERING MACHINE: Hi, it's Caroline. You know the drill.

JEFF: Caroline, this is Jeff Baldwin, from the street, listen, I hope you check your messages, because something came up. I tried reaching you at Remo's, but....

SUSAN: Jeffrey, who are you on the phone with?

JEFF: Sweetheart, I'm calling for the weather report.

SUSAN: Right. It better not be one of your tramps.

JEFF: Susan, just hang up. Gotta go. Maybe we can do this some other time. Call ya.

RICHARD: Oh this is much better than a Swiss documentary.

[Scene 10: Remo's. Later.]

[A woman selling roses walks by Caroline]

CAROLINE: Keep walking. Just keep walking. [Enter Richard]

RICHARD: Caroline.

CAROLINE: Richard, what are you doing here?

RICHARD: I called but there was no reservation under your name. Jeff, of the street, is not coming.

CAROLINE: What are you talking about?

RICHARD: I was at your place when he called your answering machine.

CAROLINE: Oh, God, what lame excuse did he use?

RICHARD: Well, I'm sure it was gonna be a good one, but his wife interrupted.

CAROLINE: His wife? He's married?

RICHARD: If it means anything to you, I don't think it will last.

CAROLINE: This is just perfect.

RICHARD: Oh no, no, no, you're not going to cry, are you? I don't deal too well with crying.

CAROLINE: Richard, you don't deal too well with Daylight Savings Time.

RICHARD: Well then, enjoy your meal. [Del comes over]

DEL: Hi. So, ah, hi. How are you? Del Cassidy.

RICHARD: Ah. Richard...Karinsky.

CAROLINE: Richard is my....

RICHARD: Caroline's guy. [kiss] Sorry babe, I would have been here sooner, but I was in surgery all day. That transplant took a lot longer than I thought. So, what's good? After this afternoon, anything but liver. Hey, Dull.

DEL: Del.

RICHARD: Whatever. Join us.

DEL: No, I've got to get back to my date. The sooner we eat, the sooner we can get back to my place.

CAROLINE: Well you won't be the only ones racing through your meal.

DEL: Be careful you don't choke.

CAROLINE: Doesn't matter, I'm with a doctor. [Del returns to Debbie] Wow, Richard, that was so sweet.

RICHARD: Don't thank me, I'm still on the clock and I'm looking at lobster.

[Scene 11: The Hallway of Caroline's Apartment. Later that evening. Caroline and Richard enter via the elevator.]

RICHARD: So, no one liked my paintings in Rome, either. But it was just as well. After Julia left me I couldn't paint any more.

CAROLINE: She broke your heart?

RICHARD: No, she broke my paint brush. Of course she broke my heart. I mean I was in love with her, you know. Sincere amore. The kind of love you never have to question.

CAROLINE: Wow. Well, am, Richard, ah, thanks for being there for me tonight.

RICHARD: Yeah, well, thanks for telling me what sweet breads were before I ordered them. [Enter Del]

DEL: Oh, you're here. I called, there was no answer, so I thought you two might have been walking the cat.

RICHARD: Interesting euphemism.

DEL: But since you're not....

CAROLINE: Walking the cat?

DEL: I thought I'd drop off your key. Just, you know, slip it under your door. I have a copy of her key.

RICHARD: Me too.

DEL: You're just loving this, aren't ya? You know, this was a big mistake, I'm just gonna go.

RICHARD: No, no, no, no, look, you stay. I'm just on my way. Early surgery tomorrow.

DEL: What hospital do you work out of, anyway?

RICHARD: Actually, I've got my own place. [Exit Richard]

DEL: So, you know him long?

CAROLINE: Look Del, I can't do this any more. Richard's not a doctor and he's not my date. He's my new assistant and I'll probably have to pay him overtime for tonight.

DEL: Oh.

CAROLINE: Look, you won. You moved on and I haven't.

DEL: Look, I don't want to move on. Aren't you wondering why I dropped Debbie off early?

CAROLINE: It's a school night?

DEL: I guess I deserved that.

CAROLINE: No you don't. Listen, since you're already here why don't I give you these Christmas card sketches. It'll save me the trip uptown in the morning. [They enter] These are just some rough ideas that I had. [Del kisses her]

DEL: Okay, if you can tell me that meant nothing to you, I will walk out that door and I will never bring it up again.

CAROLINE: Del, I can't say that.

DEL: Yes!

CAROLINE: But Del...

DEL: Damn.

CAROLINE: I want something more. I want sincere amore, a love you never have to question.

DEL: And you don't think I can give you that?

CAROLINE: You're already questioning it.

DEL: Okay, so what are we supposed to do here, Caroline? See each other at work, nod at each other, pretend there's nothing there, when we both know there is.

CAROLINE: Well we could try to move pass this and be friends.

DEL: Remember I have two ex-wives, I don't know how to be friends.

CAROLINE: I could teach you. Friends?

DEL: Friends. [kiss]

CAROLINE: Friends.

[Outside Richard walks by the building....]

[The light turns off in Caroline's apartment.]

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