DEAD LIKE ME
1X05: REAPING HAVOC

Original air date in U.S.A: 25 July 2003
Written by: J.J. Philbin 
Directed by: Robert Duncan McNeill

Transcripted by Moonfire (If there are any inconsistancies or mistakes 
please contact moonfire.elfin@btinternet.com)

==========================
DISCLAIMER:
==========================

"Dead Like Me" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and (c) by
Bryan Fuller and MGM Television in association with Showtime. 
All Rights Reserved.  This transcript was made without their permission, 
approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication 
or distribution of this material in any form is expressly prohibited. 
It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain.
==========================

Additional Actors
Patrick Cassidy - Terence Kelly
Chuck - Gary Jones
Gayle - Enid-Raye Adams
M.J Bowers - Frank Cassini
Elderly Man - Tom Shorthouse
Michael - Daniel Bacon
Raugi - Raugi Yu
Crystal - Crystal Dahl
Partier - Bo Fred Olsson
M.J.Bowers' sister - Erica Cerra


SUMMARY:
==========================
When George takes Betty's picture, the picture shows Betty with her original face,
not her afterlife face. 
==========================



CREDITS
Betty running with her boyfriend

(VO) From the moment we're born, we hit the ground running, put one fot in 
front of the other and anything is possible. Of course that's all bullshit 
the truth is from evolution to revolution, things hardly ever change 
gradually. (they run, Betty carries on running and he stops, lets go of her 
hand)They change suddenly in great leaps for those who understand this, life 
is a constant search for the next big jump. (she jumps off the cliff. 
(looking a bit shocked to know that he didn't jump with her) For the rest of 
us, all that jumping seems kind of stupid.

Transition
to a black coffee that's just had a sugar cube beeing dropped in it


GEORGE: Are you mad at me?
RUBE: Beside myself
GEORGE: Fine give it to me, both barrels.
RUBE: You don't mess with fate peanut. People die when they are ment to die. 
There's no discussion, there's no negotioation, life's done, It's done. You 
of all people should know that
GEORGE: I have to go to work
Wanna talk?
I don't wanna talk (pushes a plate towards her) Have some french fries.
Theyre cold. I gotta go

(VO) That's when it occured to me...I really didn't have any friends, I just 
had co-workers. and I really wanted a friend

There is a poster of a yellow snail looking at a high wall and at the top 
says "Determination is the first chapter in the book of success"

(VO) as a young undead woman out on my own in the world, where would I find 
that friend? Millie is standing by the photocopier printing out some 
documents) maybe at my day job? maybe at Happy Time, maybe Delores wasn't 
justt my coworker maybe she could be my friend

DELORES: Hi, how's that little engine that could?

(VO) ...[i]or not[/i]

MILLIE: I'm almost finished
DELORES: Wonderful. The embossed binders are in the white box by my desk. 
were going to to the cover pages last, I'm having gail make a few changes. 
Did you know she's colour blind
MILLIE: No
DELORES: That's unusual for girls.
MILLIE: Really?
DELORES: Sure. My sister's colour blind and everyone made such a fuss 
because it's so rare but she's a little masculine so none of us were very 
surprised, has a wispy little moustache.
MILLIE: Uh she sounds pretty
DELORES: Do you...have a sister Millie?

(VO) I know George has a sister--had a sister--but does Millie?
(camera shows UnGeorge)
DELORES: I didn't mean to stump ya

(VO) so I pulled something out of my ass

MILLIE: I have an older brother. His name is Luke, he's a jet pilot. He 
bombed the crap out of Bagdad.(laughs nervously)
DELORES: A jet pilot?

(VO) and in that instant I invented Millie
DELORES: I had no idea

(VO) neither did I
DELORES: Okay back to work, we'll have to save this conversation for a soy 
latte one of these mornings. (waves goodbye and leaves the room. She opens 
up the photcopier lid, puts her head on it and presses the button. Delores 
comes back into the room)

DELORES: Millie? (she turns around and her vision is all distorted by the 
light)
Have you ever kept a scrapbook?
MILLIE: Uh...No? (Delores beckons her and they leave the photocopy room)

(all in a room with other co-workers there)

DELORES: Y'all know Millie?
Bald english guy: Hi Millie.
GAYLE: Hi Millie.
MILLIE: Hi (she sits down)
DELORES: She's just getting her feet wet (crystal walks past and looks in 
and shakes her head) with the whole Excel system thing and we all know what 
that can be like
BAld english guy: Are you going to go on the Excel retreat?
MILLIE: I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Am I going?
DELORES: No, we've had a bad experience with one of the tutorial staff. What 
was her name? Diane something?
GAYLE: Farber? Farmer. Wilson!
DELORES: Ive blocked it out
GAYLE: She was a big "See ya next Tuesday" That's what she was.
DELORES: Gail! (leans over to Millie) I think she was just in an unhappy 
place.Anyway. Welcome to our little scrapbook circle.

(VO)The lengths I go to for free food.

DELORES: You wanna make sure and use acid-free stickers, especially on your 
friendship pages
MILLIE: (muffled from the brownie that she has just put in her mouth) 
Thanks, that's good to know
This is my work-related scrapbook. (she holds up a scrapbook that says, 
Happy Time Mementos, on the cover, she opens it to the first page) My first 
pay stub, and the sparkling cider lable from Harry V's cake lunch (she 
nudges Millie and laughs, everyone else joins in too)

MILLIE: This is my work-related scrapbook. (opens the book) These are bone 
fragments I found in a telephone pole next to an exploded, highvoltage 
transformer (everyone is still smiling) and this is from that nuclear 
reactor incident, I think it's a testicle (they burt out laughing - the 
sound of a record scratching brings her back to reality)

DELORES: I recommend not skimping on boarder paper. Would you like to start 
a scrapbook, Millie?

(VO) I could have tried to see the thrill in cataloguing artifacts and 
laminating memories. But that wouldn’t be me.

MILLIE: Ummm.....I would but I’m having one of those heavy flow days.

Delores looks worried and then pats George on the back for underastanding. 
George just continues to eat


Transition
At Der Waffle House. Betty and George are stting next o each other and 
opposite is Chuck.Betty picks up the wax from the plate.

BETTY: I think red is my favorite.

(VO) Could Betty be a friend?

GEORGE: You’re just talking about the wax, and not the cheese?
BETTY: Well, half the fun of eating the cheese is taking the wax off the 
cheese. It’s kind of like, taking off a man’s clothes.
GEORGE: I wouldn’t know.
BETTY: Oh, so much fun. You’re really beautiful, you do know that?

(VO) Definitely a friend.

BETTY: It’s true
GEORGE: (looking shy) Okay. (reaches for Betty’s hand) I like your ring
BETTY: I saw it in the village in 1927. My boy bought it for me
GEORGE: Wow. No guy has ever bought me anything
BETTY: Isn’t she beautiful?
CHUCK: Are you prostitutes?
BETTY: No
CHUCK: Then why are you taking to me?
BETTY: You got a Worldly quality. A certain, Genoese qua
CHUCK: Say what?
BETTY: You’re Chuck, right?
CHUCK: (nervously) Yeah
BETTY: What kind of car do you drive?
CHUCK: Convertible
BETTY: We used to call them, Breezers. Isn’t that cute?
GEORGE: Yeah
BETTY: Is it a red convertible?
CHUCK: Ah, yeah....
BETTY: I thought you might

In the background, there are police lights and hear a police siren. They’re 
right outside.

CHUCK: I don’t get it. Who are you? (looks outside at the police action )

(VO) Somewhere in the back of his mind, he convinced himself that we were a 
pair of black widows out to mate and kill. But his time would have been 
better spent worrying about the nest of poisonous spiders in his closet.

Transition
to Chuck at home in front of his closet. He turns his back to us, and we see 
a spider crawling up his neck. Then camera back to Der Waffle Haus )

GEORGE: I forgot to tell you. I finally found out who Millie is.
BETTY: Oh yeah.

The waitress brings over some water for Betty. And completely ignores Chuck.

CHUCK: Hello? How come I can’t get a glass of water.
BETTY: Because your history, Chuck.
GEORGE: Millie has an older brother. His name is Luke, he’s a jet pilot. 
He’s way cool.
BETTY: Are you close with him?
GEORGE: Yeah...At least I think I am.
BETTY: Does he drive a breezer?
GEORGE: Absolutely. He’s a jet pilot. He loves speed.
BETTY: Mmmm....Sounds hot. What kind of car does Millie drive?

Chuck finally looks closer to the action outside

GEORGE: Millie doesn’t have a car. She hitches.
CHUCK: Looks like someone fell over in the street.

Betty looks outside

BETTY: Oh honey. That’s you.

Chuck looks stunned

(VO) Betty could get excited about the littlest things. Being undead made 
her more alive then any living person I know. But nothing surprised her.

Transition

flashback - Betty jumping off the cliff into the river. Her boy doesn’t 
jump. We then see Rube standing next to the river trying to skip rocks in 
the water. Betty climbs out of the water.

RUBE: (wearing a 1920's fisherman's mac and hat) How’s the water?
BETTY: Chilly. Woke me right up.

Both look up to the guy, still standing up on the cliff.

RUBE: Doesn’t look like he’s interested in taking the leap.
BETTY: Terrible when a man’s lillylivered, isn’t it? So unattractive.
RUBE: That’s a little high.
BETTY: Bigger splash from up there.
RUBE: Is that a fact?
BETTY: Say. Aren’t you a friend of the futurist? The man at the picnic 
rubbing himself on people. I made his acquaintance at the desert table.
RUBE: I didn’t see a desert table.
BETTY: Well then, you need to get your peepers checked because it was right 
there in plain sight. Your friend cupped my buttocks reaching for a piece of 
blueberry buckle. Probably figured that I didn’t notice, but I did.
RUBE: Well, he calls that soul popping.
BETTY: Well call it what you like. I think you should keep better company.
RUBE: I apologize on his behalf.
BETTY: Well that’s sweet of you. But I think a man should take 
responsibility for his own actions.
RUBE: Couldn’t agree more.
BETTY: Then I expect a formal apology. So go on, march your friend down here 
for what’s what.
RUBE: Well, he’s already gone.
BETTY: Well where’d he go?
RUBE: Got a promotion I guess. He’s going wherever he’s going. If it’s any 
comfort at all, yours is the last tush he’ll grab.
(she sighs deeply) Betty starts to leave irritated

RUBE: Where you headed?
BETTY: Oh, I’m going again. That was a hoot.
RUBE: You like falling, do ya?
BETTY: Well, it’s not the fallin’, it’s the jumpin’.
RUBE: I’d feel a whole lot better about the jumpin’ if it weren’t for the 
fallin’.
BETTY: Fallin’s easy, you just fall. Jumping involves strength of will.
RUBE: Unless you’re on a plank.
BETTY: Then it isn’t your choice. But if it is, it’s the best feeling in the 
world.
RUBE: And you don’t care where you land?
BETTY: Landing is a lot like fallin, you just land.
RUBE: (chuckles) You’re a force of nature.
BETTY: You should really try the jumpin’. It’s the greatest feelin’ in the 
world.

Betty turns to leave, but notices a body floating in the river. She stops.

BETTY: Oh no. She’s wearing my bathing suit.

It finally dawns on her that she’s dead

Transition back to Der Waffle Haus

(VO) And that’s how Betty learned. Sometimes jumping is your last feeling in 
the world.

Betty is holding a photo of Chuck, taken when he was alive

BETTY: I miss Chuck.
GEORGE: Why do you take people’s polaroids right before you take their 
souls?
BETTY: I was looking for a signature. Trying to get away from the cloak and 
sickle thing. It’s so unflattering. I’ve got a whole sack of convertible 
people at home.
GEORGE: A whole sack of ‘em?
BETTY: I’ve got lots of sacks. Helps me keep track.
GEORGE: Really?
BETTY: A place for everyone, and everyone in their place.
GEORGE: What sack are you in?
BETTY: Oh. I’m a jumper. No sack can hold me.

Betty takes her camera and gets it ready to take a picture

BETTY: Okay, happy thoughts.
GEORGE: My face gets sore if I smile too much.
BETTY: Do it anyway.

George smiles and Betty takes her picture

Transition to George in bed at night

(VO) Maybe Betty was right. Maybe there is a place for everything. Maybe 
everything is in its place.

Transition

The next day at Der Waffle Haus. Betty is talking to George, but we don’t 
hear them while the VO plays.

(VO) Well what if you’ve seen all the places and everything is already in 
its place. And you still can’t sit still.

BETTY: (takes out some things that help take security tags off clothing in 
stores.) This one is for those little hard reusable ones. Looks like a 
nipple on a tongue depressor. And this one frequency wipes those electronic 
jobbies that the manufacturers put inside the packages.
RUBE: You going shopping.

George and Betty say at the same time

BETTY: I am.
GEORGE: She is.

BETTY: Hey, you want me to pick you up anything. A sweater? Maybe a V-neck?
RUBE: I’m okay. But if you see something that screams me, then go ahead and 
pick it up.

Mason arrives and sits next to Rube

MASON: You hear about the big dust cloud?
BETTY: What dust cloud?
MASON: Five miles wide. Couple of miles high. Trying to wipe out everything 
in its path. They say the dust is so think it’s blocking out the sun in 
Beijing. It’s taking off paint off of cars and flesh off of cows.

No one seems interested

MASON: Flesh off cows. Thousands of little yellow people keeling over in the 
streets.
GEORGE: Little yellow people.
RUBE: You been talking to Gary?
MASON: Yeah.
RUBE: What did I tell you about talking to Gary? He’s full of shit.
GEORGE: No dust cloud.
BETTY: No dead yellow people.

Mason takes some fruit out of George’s cup

MASON: Maybe not.
RUBE: Well, that’s too bad. Trip to the Orion would have been nice this time 
of year. I love that dimsum.
BETTY: I’ve been shipped to Bali four times. Three volcanos, one typhoon. 
Incredible devastation. But the most beautiful black sand beaches.
GEORGE: Do I ever get to go anywhere?
RUBE: Maybe I’ll take you to Pamplona. Work those early morning bullruns, 
huh?
GEORGE: I can do that. Except, do they have, like, late morning or early 
afternoon bullruns?
RUBE: We usually take the soul in the am. (starts handing out the post-it’s) 
Rest of the day is sangria and sunshine.
MASON: Mmmm...And they’re very laid back in Spain. It’s a nice gig.
GEORGE: Do we ever take non-working vacations? You know, where no one dies.

They all just look at her

RUBE: (with the check) Everyone throw in. (to Mason) Except you, you didn’t 
eat.
GEORGE: He ate my fruit. Not just the cantaloupe, the strawberries too. 
Well, you did. Actually, about a dollars worth.
MASON: You want me to give you a dollar?
GEORGE: That’s why I said you ate a whole dollars worth.

Betty starts laughing. Mason takes out some money and tosses her a dollar.

MASON: Rube. How am I meant to get out all the way out to east bumble fuck?
RUBE: You got a bus pass. Use it.
MASON: Well you could at least tell me the right line.
RUBE: Get a schedule stitch it into your coat.
GEORGE: I could use a ride home.
RUBE: You got two good legs, Peanut. Use them.
BETTY: I’ll take you sweety. Rube, she’s just a kid. Do you have to be such 
a asshole.

George looks impressed that someone stood up for her. She and Betty get up 
and leave. Rube just continues to read his paper

Transition

We are at some old woman’s house. Inside, she’s talking to Mason. Big Band 
Music is playing in the background.

MASON: No, I’ve never heard of it. Sorry.
FLORENCE: Recorded in '33. Or '34. I can’t recall. Practically a National 
Anthem.

She tries to pick up the cup of tea that Mason just poured. Her hand only 
goes through the cup.

MASON: Oh, no more tea for you.
FLORENCE: Then why did you pour me a cup?
MASON: I didn’t. I poured me a cup. Where’s your sugar?
FLORENCE: Sugar’s in the sugar bowl.

She turns around to look in the kitchen. We see her body laying on the 
kitchen floor. The sugar bowl is next to her hand, and the sugar cubes are 
spilled all over the place.

FLORENCE: And that’s my cup. I’m the only one who drinks out of that cup.

Mason chuckles a little

FLORENCE: Rinse it out. Then put it back where you found it.
MASON: Okay. Well it’s not like you can use it anymore.

He gets up and goes into the kitchen. He picks up the sugar bowl and cubes, 
then puts them back into the sugar bowl.

FLORENCE: I got other cups for guests. I also sang with Les Brown. And his 
band of renown.

Mason comes back to sit down and shows her the cup he has to use for his 
tea, It a black cup with a figure of a cat on it.

FLORENCE: Ohhh, you can have that cup. I hate that cat. If I had a cat like 
that....I’d sell it to a Vietnamese restaurant. You know Les Brown.
MASON: No.
FLORENCE: Les told me I could do anything on that stage long as I was 
singing. Such a kind heart. Except when he was working with Red Nickels. But 
that’s because Red could be a real cocksucker. Especially when he was 
parading around with his ass in the air like a baboon presenting.

Mason gets up to look at some paintings on the walls

FLORENCE: I never had time for him.
MASON: Are these valuable?
FLORENCE: I painting those.
MASON: Oh, pity.
FLORENCE: I buried three dogs in those woods. Coyotes dug up the first two.

Mason stops and just looks at her

Transition

George’s apartment. Betty is knocking on George’s door. George opens it. 
Betty is standing there with her arms full of sacks. It’s her sacks of 
photos.

BETTY: Hi.
GEORGE: Hi.

Betty walks in

GEORGE: How do you know who goes where?
BETTY: I look at the picture and then a light bulb goes off in my stomach.
GEORGE: Gut reaction?
BETTY: Bingo.

Betty is looking around the apartment, while George looks through some of 
the sacks.

GEORGE: Do you know what people are in what sack?
BETTY: Of course I do. I put them there.
GEORGE: God, you’re like my mother.
BETTY: Millie’s or yours?
GEORGE: Mine.
BETTY: Oooo. But Millie has a brother. A race car driver. A jet pilot.
GEORGE: He is. He almost won the Indi 500. Do you have any brothers or 
sisters?
BETTY: No. Just cousins.
GEORGE: What about your other identities? Or whatever you call it. Like, 
Teresa.
BETTY: Ha. Teresa. And Sandy. All my alter-egos were only children. It’s 
just easier to remember that way.
GEORGE: You were a Sandy?
BETTY: I loved being Sandy. She was a pistol.
GEORGE: How many girls have you been?
BETTY: Three....No, four. Maxine, Candice, Sandy, and Teresa. Every few 
decades, you gotta shake things up a bit or folks with get suspicious. Come 
on, don’t you ever want to shake things up?
GEORGE: I feel pretty shakin up most of the time anyway.
BETTY: Awww

Transition

Back at Florence’s home

MASON: Listen, do you want me to call anybody or....
FLORENCE: And say what?
MASON: I could report a strange smell.
FLORENCE: If anyone cared whether or not I was alive they’d come look. I 
don’t feel the need to make it easier for them.
MASON: Good. Neither do I.
FLORENCE: What you could do is leave the back door open and let the coyotes 
eat me. That’ll make them think.
MASON: I’d feel like shit if coyotes ate my mum.
FLORENCE: Damn right you would. ‘Coz you’re a good boy.

Mason smiles and looks back at the record collection she has

MASON: Oh my God. God, my dad used to listen to Louie Prima.
FLORENCE: I worked with Louie. It was at Frank Delaney’s Terrace room. 
That’s in Newark. Have you ever been to Newark?
MASON: No, can’t say I have.
FLORENCE: Oh. It’s a toilet. But Louie had such an instinctive voice. Rub 
you all wrong, then would rub you all right. He was something else.

Mason holds some old container that says, Gold Dust, up for her to see

MASON: Is this collectable?
FLORENCE: I was raised on that washing powder. Those are the Gold Dust 
twins. Aren’t they just the cutest little jiggaboos?

Mason looks at the front of the container.

MASON: Arn’t you quite the racist.
FLORENCE: Oh, I even named a couple of dogs after them. They’re the ones the 
coyotes dug up.
MASON: You got lots of money anywhere?

Transition

Back at George’s apartment . She pulls a chair over.

GEORGE: Sit down.
BETTY: Ahh, okay.
GEORGE: Close your eyes.
BETTY: Alright.

George goes over and takes two pictures out of a sack.

GEORGE: What people? What sack?
BETTY: Hmmm Reiterator people. Nordstrom's bag. Their inauthentic, they have 
no idea who they are, they steal people’s personalities and thoughts, 
convinced they said it first. And almost all of them have really greasy 
hair.
GEORGE: Why can’t people be more different.
BETTY: Well, there’s a finite number of people in the world. And I have met 
them all.
GEORGE: Why did you bring all these sacks over here?
BETTY: To illustrate my point.
GEORGE: Which is what?
BETTY: People, are not snowflakes. And, I needed to clear out some space in 
my closet. You don’t mind, do you?

(VO) I’d like to think Betty was wrong. People couldn’t be clumped together 
in sacks and shoe boxes...

Transition

George walks into Happy Time, and sees a couple flirting walk past her.

(VO)... But after spending time at work I started to think that maybe they 
could. Maybe people weren’t that different from one another........

George walks past Krystal, who is at her desk looking at her hair. Then she 
starts sucking on it

GUY: Hi Millie. Working hard, or hardly working?

A photo is taken of this guy smiling. She tosses the photo in a sack.

(VO) Sacks and shoe boxes might not be such a bad idea.

George walks along with Delores

(VO) For everything you love or hate, they’re hundreds and thousands of 
other people who love or hate the same thing.

DELORES: I’m a cat person, Millie. Let me show you a picture of Murray.

Delores brings up a framed picture of a cat and smiles next to it.

DELORES: He’s 15 years old. His bladders going. Poor thing....pissed....on 
the drapes yesterday. I just love him. (kisses close to the frame, then 
makes mow sounds.)

Photo taken of Delores smiling next to her framed photo of Murray. George 
again tosses it in a sack.

(VO) That’s why God made support groups. But there’s not a support group for 
everything.

The guy who was in her scrapbook club is in the copy room with her yelling 
about something.

MICHAEL: ( Yelling) I just hate her, what a bitch. Who the hell does she 
think she is? It’s hard enough for me without somebody riding my ass every 
goddamn second of every goddamn day.

Photo taken of Michael looking like he’s still in the middle of yelling. She 
puts it in the same sack.

(VO) No cure. No quick fix. One way or another you find your sack, crawl 
inside.

Shot of Amber, the office slut, walking past George and Gail.

GAYLE: Amber just got back from getting her wax. Five bucks says she’ll be 
showing Raul in the mail room before the end of business.

(VO)......And make the most of it.

George looks down the hall where Amber is walking, who is pulling at her 
underwear.

GEORGE: You’re on.

Transition

Back at Florence’s house. She is looking over Mason’s shoulder, who is 
sitting down at the table writing a letter.

FLORENCE: You’re pushing too hard. Just the one stroke on the F. You lifted 
the goddamn pen. And that N, looks like an M. I mean, there’s no M in 
Florence.
MASON: No wonder your children don’t come to visit you.
FLORENCE: You want my social security checks or not?

Mason goes back to writing, extremely annoyed. Florence is looking around.

FLORENCE: Why is it taking so long?

Mason turns around and looks at the body.

MASON: I don’t know. Maybe there’s a few synapses and there still firing.
FLORENCE: Am I cold? Go check and see if I’m cold.

Mason drops the pen and goes into the kitchen to check the body. He smiles 
back at Florence while he checks it.

MASON: No, you’re not really cold. You’re not warm either. Kind of like a 
room temperature, like a soft breeze.

Florence walks away waving him off as he sits back down to finish the 
letter. Florence looks a bit upset.

MASON: You know when it happens. It gets bright. See something nice.
FLORENCE: What do you mean, something nice?

Mason smiles and get up to let Florence sit down.

MASON: Well, you see something nice that you want to see, it’s all about you 
and what you want.
FLORENCE: What’d you see when you died?
MASON: I’m not officially dead. I didn’t cross over so I didn’t get a big 
light show you know. Doesn’t mean I don’t have to watch everybody else. And 
they’re not always pretty, believe me. One bloke crawled right back into his 
mother in front of my very eyes.
FLORENCE: Jesus Crist. Oh, cut the cord. Oh.

Mason laughs, then Florence starts laughing.

Transition

Back at Happy Time. George is getting her coat and getting ready to leave.

(VO) As Mason was making friends. I was fending off co-workers.

Delores and Michael chase George down before she can leave.

DELORES: Hi. Michael and I were thinking about driving to the outlets at 
lunch. I hear there’s a stationary store you have to see to believe.
GEORGE: Ohh, that sounds like fun.
DELORES: You’re welcome to come with.
GEORGE: Ohhhhh, I would, but I’m one month sober today, so my sponsor is 
taking me to the park to fly kites.
DELORES: Ohhhhh.....

Delores looks shocked.

MICHAEL: I used to have a kite. Shaped like a dragon.
DELORES: (To Michael) I’ll meet you at the elevators on P2.

Michael leaves

DELORES: I am...so proud of you. I look at you, and my heart swells with 
such pride.

Delores goes over and pulls George in for a hug.

DELORES: I know I act like I have it all together, but I am no stranger to 
adversity. I went through a rough patch when I was your age. It was the 80's 
and everyone was doing so much...cocaine. We called it...blow.

The frame freezes on Delores’s face

(VO) I prayed for something...

Frame unfreezes.

(VO)......Anything to prevent more words coming out of Delores’s mouth.

DELORES: (looking behind George) May I help you?

We see Rube walking up from behind.

RUBE: Ready to go? (To George)

(VO) Anything but this.

GEORGE: You’re supposed to meet me downstairs.
DELORES: Hi. I’m Delores Herbigg, as in her big brown eyes. (points to her 
eyes then puts out her hand for Rube )
RUBE: Hi. Nice to meet you, and your big brown eyes. (shakes her hand)
DELORES: Are you Millie’s sponsor?
GEORGE: Yes. In fact, we’re on our way to the park right now to fly kites.
DELORES: You said that.
RUBE: (sees a glass jar with M&M’s in it in a cubicle and picks it up) Hey 
these communal?
DELORES: Think of them as a well-deserved reward. It’s a wonderful thing to 
be a Shepard to a young person...

Rube seems to be going through the M&M’s and taking only one color, and 
putting the rest back.

DELORES: I myself am very happy to be Millie’s Shepard from 9 to 5.
RUBE: Ahhh....How’s Millie been working out for you?
DELORES: Wonderful, she’s a very industrious young woman.
RUBE: Really?
DELORES: Absolutely,
RUBE: Doesn’t give you any lip, does what she’s told? Or do you gotta give 
her an occasional time out?

Rube hasn’t been really paying much attention while he went through the 
candy. Now, he’s given up after getting a handful of red ones and puts the 
candy back and puts the glass jar back in the cubicle.

DELORES: She’s an angel.
RUBE: This Millie right here?
GEORGE: She said I’m an angel, drop it.
RUBE: That’s great.
GEORGE: Can we go now?

Rube takes out a red handkerchief and puts the candy inside it. George grabs 
Rube’s arm and pulls him away. Delores just waves goodbye at them. Then we 
see Betty talking to Krystal.

BETTY: Please do not touch your hair. Promise me you won’t touch your hair? 
Say I promise that I will not touch my hair. Say it.
KRYSTAL: I promise.

Rube and George walk past them.

RUBE: Lets go.
BETTY: Bye.
KRYSTAL: Bye.

George looks at Krystal curiously then walks in the elevator with Betty and 
Rube.

Transition to the park

Seems the park is holding a family reunion party for the Bowers family. 
Betty, George, and Rube are all looking around at the hundreds of people 
that are there. Plus, it’s raining.

(VO) Today is the day M.J. Bowers is gonna die. And if you’re in the market 
for a Bowers soul, this was the place to be.

An old guy walks past Rube.

RUBE: Nice day for a reunion, huh?
OLD GUY: Ohhh, had to do it today. Come rain or shine. Bowers coming in from 
all over.
RUBE: That a fact?
OLD GUY: Even had some Bowers coming in all the way from Miami.
RUBE: Well, you should have held it there.
OLD GUY: You’re not a Bowers, are you?
RUBE: No, just by marriage. ( Walks away )

GEORGE: This sucks.
BETTY: At least you’re not by yourself. I had to work the Macy’s 
Thanksgiving Parade all alone one year. There was this travesty with the 
road Marmaduke balloon.
RUBE: Okay. Lets work the crowd. Look for high risk factors. And just try 
not to alarm anybody.

Rube and Betty go in separate directions.

(VO) Betty always seems to go a different way then everyone else.

Shot of a few Bowers at the Barbeque.

(VO) It was mysterious and reassuring. I wonder if she had a sack for 
mysterious and reassuring. If she did, I’d put her picture in it.

We are looking through Betty’s eyes as she looks around. Shot of a guy, 
Message on the screen says: Cult Susceptible People.

(VO) Age and wisdom had no impact on her...

Shot of a man and woman walking together. The message on screen says: Mouth 
breather People.

(VO)...Just that strange light bulb that...

Shot of a man and woman talking. The message on screen says: Airplane Talker 
People.

(VO)...lived in her stomach.

Shot of kids playing soccer. Now we’re back with George. She walking around 
to look for her reap.

(VO) Somehow knowing that made my afterlife a little more comfortable.

Shot of Rube getting through a crowd of people. They’re having a pie eating 
contest.

RUBE: M.J? M.J? Any of you M.J. Bowers?

The two people stop eating the pies and looks at him. They quickly go back 
to eating the pie. Rube looks around again then starts to leave.

RUBE: (Pointing to someone off camera) M.J. buddy?

Shot of a pitbull.

BETTY: She’s a pitbull, right? I hear they’re real unstable. They go nuts 
and kill people all the time. Has your dog ever did anything like that?

Shot of Rube at a table. The guy he talked to before is there.

RUBE: Is your name M.J?
OLD GUY: What?
RUBE: My friend tells me to go say hi to M.J, he’s standing right over 
there, and she points to you.
OLD GUY: Which friend?
RUBE: Right there......

Rube points to George, who is just walking by. She waves.

RUBE:...Pretty girl in the pant suit.
OLD GUY: That one?
RUBE: Yeah.
OLD GUY: I don’t know her. What did she point at me for?
RUBE: She thought you were M.J. Bowers. Are you?
OLD GUY: Who wants to know?
RUBE: It’s a family reunion, we’re all family, I’m just asking your name..

Rube takes out the handkerchief with the M&M’s in it and offers the guy 
some.

OLD GUY: I don’t know you sir.
RUBE: Rube. Hi, ( Shakes the guy’s hand) How are ya? Listen, I’m tired of 
fucking around. Your name M.J. Bowers or not?

Shot of Betty in the playground with dozens of kids. One is yelling for help 
in the tube slide. Seems he’s stuck. George is still walking around until 
Rube whistles for her. She turns around.

RUBE: George? M.J. You remember M.J. (points to the old guy)
BETTY: (Runs up and grabs George) Hey, that’s not M.J. I’ve got M.J. There’s 
a fat kid named Marvin James stuck in the tube slide. All the other children 
keep piling in on top of him. They’re packed in there like sausage meat. 
Come on....(Betty goes back to the slide)

(VO) There’s a subtle distinction between an M.J, Bowers, and the M.J. 
Bowers.

George looks over at Rube, then back over at Betty. Not moving.

(VO) Comfortable and safe. Or mysterious and reassuring.....

Rube is taping his watch, and Betty is taking a picture of the kid stuck in 
the tube slide. George looks at her clock, and it’s time.

(VO) It didn’t matter either way, because time was up.

Shot of Rube’s M.J. starting the barbecue. Rube stands back, thinking it’s 
going to explode. It doesn’t. Next shot is of Betty telling the kid who is 
stuck, happy thoughts, and taking his photo. Then we hear someone honking 
their car horn. George turns around and sees a car almost hit a guy crossing 
the street. The car has a canoe on his hood. The guy in the street hits the 
car and tells him to watch where he’s going. Another car runs into the 
stopped car, and the canoe flies toward the guy and kills him.

(VO) I didn’t see that one coming. Then again, neither did he. Either way, 
M.J. Bowers ended up in a sack.

Transition

Der Waffle Haus. Rube, Betty, and George are sitting there with M.J. Bowers. 
His face is extremely messed up since the canoe went through most of it and 
no one took his soul.

(VO) But Betty had a way with the dead. A dead-side manner, I guess.

BETTY: The glass doesn’t have to be half empty. You know how much 
reconstructive surgery you would have if you survived? Lots. Lots and lots. 
I mean, sure, it’ll be worth it if you were still alive, but since you’re 
not, it’s just one less thing you have to worry about.

M.J. BOWERS: Aren’t you guys suppose to help me send a message to my loved 
ones?
RUBE: Well, I don’t see Della Reese sitting at this table.

M.J. looks around confused.

RUBE: Look, you seem like a very nice man, but you can’t be expecting us to 
drop a card in the mail everytime somebody dies.
M.J. BOWERS: Why not?
BETTY: Postage. It adds up.
M.J. BOWERS: This was my life.
GEORGE: Hey, we don’t get paid. This is a public service.
M.J. BOWERS: Really?
GEORGE: Yeah, stupid huh? We should get paid, at least minimum wage.

Shot of Rube, looking annoyed as usual.

BETTY: Look who’s Norma Ray.
M.J. BOWERS: My sister lives right around the corner. Write something on a 
napkin.
RUBE: You don’t want to tap dance on her head like that. People can’t be 
getting notes from their dearly departed. You want your sister to go insane. 
( Pokes George on the arm) This goes double for you.
M.J.BOWERS: Tell her it’s a note from Jesus. And Jesus says. I’m okay.
RUBE: Fine. Jesus will leave a note.

M.J. Bowers looks surprised he’s getting what he wants. He smiles.

(VO) If he can walk on water, I guess he can write a note too....

Transition

Back with Mason. Mason is putting on a record.

(VO)...The curtain was coming down all over town. And the dirge would play.

Mason smiles as the music plays. He turns around. We see he’s moved the body 
into the living room. It’s actually in a wheelbarrow. He takes a long jacket 
and covers the dead body. He then wheels the wheelbarrow outside.

Transition

Back at Happy Time. Delores is walking around handing everyone their 
paycheck. She comes over to Millie’s cubicle. George sees her.

(VO) If this is Murray the dead cat, I’m so out of here.

DELORES: Payday. And to celebrate your very first Happy Time paycheck. 
(Delores takes a candy bar out of her jacket. It’s a payday bar.) Payday. 
Get it. Allow me to pass along a helpful hint that payday label makes a 
great title page for your work scrapbook.
GEORGE: I’ll keep that in mind.
DELORES: Where’s the windfall going? Some new slingbacks? A new blazer for 
work?

(VO) This is usually where I start counting Delores’s eyebrow hairs. But 
then...

GEORGE: I was thinking about buying a terrarium. I have a frog and he has no 
place to live...

(VO) I started talking to her and I wasn’t just bullshitting either. I kind 
of didn’t want her to leave.

DELORES: I like to sock away ten percent of every paycheck. Put that money 
someplace...whimsical. A brightly colored cigar box is what works for me. I 
call it my fun fund.
GEORGE: Fun fund? (Smiles)
DELORES: I go hog wild every once in a while, buy something completely 
frivolous, just for me. It used to be the...( hides her mouth from one side 
and whispers ) blow. Last month I bought myself the most adorable ashtray, 
and I don’t even smoke.

Delores waves and starts to leave.

GEORGE: How’s your cat? How’s Murray?
DELORES: Oh thank you for asking. His bladder’s not good.

Transition

At a bar and there are lots of people laughing at the counter talking and 
drinking. We see some birthday gifts on a nearby table. Over at the bar, 
Betty and George are sitting while drinking a beer.

GEORGE: Cashed in my first paycheck today. Bought a terrarium for my frog.
BETTY: When did you get a frog?
GEORGE: I think he followed me home from the train wreck.
BETTY: That’s a lot of jumpin’. I mean, I like jumping, but...
GEORGE: Maybe your frog people.
BETTY: Maybe. Or maybe I just can’t sit still for too long.

(VO) In retrospect, that’s the moment she decided to do it.

George looks behind her to a lot of people laughing with each other. One man 
pushes another to the bar. He climbs on top of the bar and quiets everyone 
down.

PATRICK: I would like to thank you all for coming to my (coughs fifth) 
birthday.

Everyone laughs

PATRICK: Some of you are beloved co-workers. Some of you are lifelong 
friends. But to me, you’re all family. I love you all....

Everyone holds up their glasses thanking him.

PATRICK: ( Points to his wife. ) Especially you. Maggie. If it wasn’t for 
you I wouldn’t be where I am today....

FRIEND: Atop of a bar getting piss drunk.

Everyone laughs.

PATRICK: But, but, but. As much as I love you all. This day is not about 
you. It’s about me. It’s about what I want to do. And you all know what I 
want to do.

Irish music begins to play, and Patrick. Cassidy starts dancing on the bar 
counter. Betty seems very amused. He passes in front of Betty and George, 
who move their drinks to let him dance by. George looks at her post-it, 
which is still on the bar wet and being stepped on. It says: P. Cassidy 49 
Finnigan Ave E.T.D 11:42pm.

BETTY: Excuse me, have we met before?
PATRICK: Yeah, I think we might have. A long long time ago.

Betty takes out her camera and smiles at him.

BETTY: Happy thoughts. (She takes his picture.)

George takes his soul by touching his foot as he dances in front of her once 
again. The camera moves up and we see a fake marlin hanging on the wall 
behind the bar. It’s shaking. Betty notices this and brings it to George’s 
attention. Next we see a graveling come up the wall, and onto the back of 
the marlin. It makes it loose, and it goes down into P. Cassidy. Everyone 
stops to take what just happened in.

Transition

Betty, George, and P. Cassidy are walking in an ally near the bar. We hear 
sirens in the background.

BETTY: I know you were having fun in there. Sorry you couldn’t stay.
P. CASSIDY: It might have been short, but I can’t argue with the time I did 
have.

Betty smiles and laughs with him. Next we see some lights. The next shot is 
of the end of the street. It turns into the Cliffs of Dover. It’s there for 
the man to crossover.

P. CASSIDY: It’s the Cliffs of Dover.
BETTY: The best thing about cliffs is jumping.
P. CASSIDY: Well, I’m not much for jumping. Not much for landing either.

Betty walks closer to him

BETTY: You don’t have to worry about where you land.
P. CASSIDY: Leap of faith.

Betty just smiles at him, and he smiles back. He nods his head at George and 
starts walking over.

(VO) If you’ve been putting off a jump, Just putting it off. Sometimes the 
subtle things are what make you take the plunge.

Betty watches him and the cliffs, and then runs over to George with her 
camera.

BETTY: Here, take my picture.
GEORGE: What? What?
BETTY: Take my picture.
GEORGE: Why?
BETTY: Happy thoughts.

George takes the picture. Betty starts taking off her ring.

BETTY: For my beautiful young friend. (She puts the ring in George’s hand) I 
love you sweety. (She starts walking away)
GEORGE: Wait, what are you doing?
BETTY: Time to shake things up a bit. Piggyback ride.

Betty starts to run over to the Cliffs of Dover where the man is standing.

GEORGE: (screaming) No, Rube said we can’t go where they’re going.
BETTY: (talks while still running toward the cliffs) Open door’s an 
invitation. Gotta jump when the door’s open.

She gets to the guy, who smiles before he jumps. Betty turns to look at 
George one last time and waves. She then jumps after him. Both disappear. 
George looks beyond shocked. Once the souls leave, a big wave of wind comes 
through and nearly knocks George down. She steps back and tries to 
understand what just happened.

(VO) And just like that. She was gone.

Transition

Rube is sitting down at the counter at, Der Waffle Haus. We hear the wind 
blowing, and we see Rube’s coffee. It’s moving. However, when Rube looks 
over at the others, no one notices but him. He knows something just 
happened.

Transition

Shot of Mason finishing the burial of Florence. Seems he dug a grave near 
her home under a tree. The wind comes by again, and Mason stops what he’s 
doing and looks up to the sky. He knows something happened.

(VO) We lead our lives, and when they end...

Transition

We hear the VO as we look at the painting in Florence’s home.

(VO)...Sometimes we leave a little bit of ourselves behind. Sometimes we 
leave money. A painting.

Transition

Next we see a post-it on an apartment door. It says, M.J.’s okay! Jesus. A 
woman comes home and finds it. She reads it outloud, then looks around 
confused.

(VO) Sometimes we leave a kind word. And sometimes....

Transition
The next morning at Der Waffle Haus. Rube and George are sitting in their 
normal booth.

(VO) We leave an empty space.

RUBE: Can’t go where she went.
GEORGE: I know.
RUBE: She was a pistol.
GEORGE: I don’t understand. Where did she go? She’s coming back, right?
RUBE: I don’t know.
GEORGE: God, I hate this. (starts crying)
RUBE: Betty told me that Millie had an older brother?
GEORGE: No. She had an older sister. And she was fearless.
RUBE: Yeah. She was a real pistol.
GEORGE: Why do I keep losing all the things and people that I care about?
RUBE: That’s what life is, Peanut.

Transition

Boom Boom Ba begins to play as we cut back to Happy Time, and the scrapbook 
club. George is about ready to share her scrapbook which seems to be full of 
photos.

(VO) How does death deal with death? I guess the same way the living do, 
trying to make sense of something that will never quite make sense.

DELORES: Don’t be bashful. I was a beginner once too.
GEORGE: (Holds her scrapbook up) Mysterious and reassuring.
DELORES: Uh-huh.
GEORGE: All these people, they all have it. Around their eyes, in their 
smiles. The reassuring part is what lures you into the sense that everything 
is going to be fine. And then, boom. They’ll pull the rug out from 
underneath you. That’s the mystery part.
DELORES: I’m going to stop you right here. Common rookie move in 
scrapbooking, turning them into photo albums. And the first thing they teach 
you about scrapbooks. Rule number one, is that they are not photo albums.

The music takes over as we see shots of the group once again, then it goes 
black.

Transition

Rube opens his apartment door and puts a post-it on the door. When he shuts 
it, we see the note. It says, What happened to her?

Transition

George’s apartment. She puts her frog in his terrarium and looks at it for a 
second.

(VO) When you can’t make sense of someone leaving. You try to make sense of 
what they left behind.

George sits on her bed and takes out the photo she took of Betty before she 
left. She puts it in her scrapbook.

(VO) And it makes it a whole lot easier when what they left you was 
beautiful.

When she closes the book. We see a shot of her wearing Betty’s ring on her 
finger. She looks at it as we fade to black.

END CREDITS