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TWO AND A HALF MEN
Last Updated l July 06, 2008
For Entertainment And Educational Purposes Only
No Infringement Intended
Disclaimer: The following are not novelizations or actual scripts. They are dry transcripts of the aired episodes that include accurate word-to-word dialogues. They are posted here courtesy of CHRISTINE BLACHFORD FOR TWIZ TV.COM. Transcripts also include settings descriptions, action scenes and camera movements where necessary.
Note that the material listed on this page is not physically hosted on our server. Therefore by clicking on the links below you will have access to a material hosted on an different server based in Europe.
 ORDER/DVD RELEASE
2-01 - Back Off Mary Poppins
2-02 - Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
2-03 - A Bag Full Of Jawea
2-04 - Go Get Mommy's Bra
2-05 - Bad News From The Clinic
2-06 - The Price Of Healthy Gums
2-07 - A Kosher Slaughterhouse
2-08 - Frankenstein And The...
2-09 - Yes, Monsignor
2-10 - The Salmon Under My...
2-11 - Last Chance To See Those
2-12 - A Lungful Of Alan
2-13 - Zejdz z Moich Wlosów
2-14 - Those Big Pink Things
2-15 - Smell The Umbrella Stand
2-16 - Can You Eat Human Flesh
2-17 - Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
2-18 - It Was Mame, Mom
2-19 - A Low, Guttera [...] Noise
2-20 - Always Wanted A Monkey
2-21 - A Sympathetic Crotch To...
2-22 - That Old Hose Bag Is...
2-23 - Squab, Squab, Squab
2-24 - Does This Smell Funny?
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09/20/04
09/27/04
10/04/04
10/11/04
10/18/04
10/25/04
11/08/04
11/15/04
11/22/04
11/29/04
12/13/04
01/03/05
01/17/05
01/31/05
02/07/05
02/14/05
02/21/05
03/07/05
03/21/05
04/18/05
05/02/05
05/09/05
05/16/05
05/23/05
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ORDER/DVD RELEASE
3-01 - Weekend In Bangkok
3-02 - Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
3-03 - Carpet Burns And A Bite...
3-04 - Your Dismissive Attitude
3-05 - We Called It Mr. Pinky
3-06 - Hi, Mr. Horned One
3-07 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
3-08 - That Voodoo That I Do Do
3-09 - Madame And Her Friend
3-10 - Something Salted...
3-11 - Santa's Village Of The...
3-12 - That Special Tug
3-13 - Humiliation Is A Visual...
3-14 - Love Isn't Blind
3-15 - My Tongue Is Meat
3-16 - Ergo, The Booty Call
3-17 - The Unfortunate Little...
3-18 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler
3-19 - Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
3-20 - Always A Bridesmaid,...
3-21 - And The Plot Moistens
3-22 Just Once With Aunt Sophie
3-23 - Arguments For The Quickie
3-24 - That [...] Hermaphrodite
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09/19/05
09/26/05
10/03/05
10/10/05
10/17/05
10/24/05
11/14/05
11/21/05
11/28/05
12/19/05
01/09/06
01/23/06
02/03/06
02/27/06
03/06/06
03/13/06
03/20/06
04/10/06
04/24/06
04/19/06
05/01/06
05/08/06
05/15/06
05/22/06
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ORDER/DVD RELEASE
4-01 - Working For Caligula
4-02 - Who's Vod Kanockers
4-03 - Sea Is A Harsh Mistress
4-04 - A Pot Smoking Monkey
4-05 - Woman Of Proven Fertility
4-06 - Apologies For The Frivolity
4-07 - Repeated Blows To Head
4-08 - Release The Dogs
4-09 - Corey's Been Dead For 1H
4-10 - Kissing Abraham Lincoln
4-11 - Walnuts And Demerol
4-12 - Castrating Sheep
4-13 - Don't Worry, Speed Racer
4-14 - That's Summer Sausage
4-15 - My Damn Stalker
4-16 Young People Have Phlegm
4-17 - I Slept With A Commie
4-18 - Never Rains In Hooterville
4-19 - Smooth As A Ken Doll
4-20 - Myra Doesn't Pee A Lot
4-21 - Tucked And Taped
4-22 - Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
4-23 - Anteaters
4-24 - Prostitutes And Gelato
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09/19/06
09/26/06
10/02/06
10/09/06
10/16/06
10/23/06
11/06/06
11/13/06
11/20/06
11/27/06
12/11/06
01/08/07
01/22/07
02/05/07
02/12/07
02/19/07
02/26/07
03/19/07
04/09/07
04/16/07
04/23/07
04/30/07
05/07/07
05/14/07
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ORDER/DVD RELEASE
5-01 - Birds, Spiders And Mom
5-02 Media Room Slash Dungeon
5-03 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
5-04 - City of Great Racks
5-05 - Putting Swim Fins On Cats
5-06 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
5-07 - The Leather Gear Is (...)
5-08 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
5-09 - Shoes, Pickle Jar Lids
5-10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia
5-11 - Meander To Your Dander
5-12 - A Little Clammy And None
5-13 - The Soil Is Moist
5-14 - Winky-Dink Time
5-15 - His Ugly Bundle
5-16 - Look, Mommy, I'm Pretty
5-17 - Fish In A Drawer
5-18 - If My Hole Could Talk
5-19 - Waiting For The Snapper
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09/24/07
10/01/07
10/08/07
10/15/07
10/22/07
10/29/07
11/05/07
11/12/07
11/19/07
11/26/07
03/17/08
03/24/08
03/31/08
04/14/08
04/21/08
04/28/08
05/05/08
05/12/08
05/19/08
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 | Disclaimer |
TRANSCRIPTS PROVIDED BY COURTESY OF
CHRISTINE BLACHFORD FOR TWIZ TV.COM
"TWO AND A HALF MEN" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by THE TANNENBAUM COMPANY and CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS in association with WARNER BROS. TELEVISION. All Rights Reserved.
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